Love means different things to different people. People get their start in life with the love they get from their parents or the lack of. That often dictates the way we love in later life or it dictates that we want to improve ourselves regardless of our past. It can be a daunting task & rarely do 2 people in a relationship have the unbreakable bond that they wish they had. I’ve found that out first hand. In light of the “bad luck”, the missteps, the infidelity & more, I believe love should still be a big motivator. If you’re motivated by money – what good is wealth if you don’t have love for your family, friends & partner? So without further ado, here are my 5 Reasons to Stay Motivated By Love.
- Love means self respect – Contrary to what others believe, I believe that love isn’t unconditional. I believe that even a dog’s love is conditional. Look at all the dogs that bark when you cross their front yard. They bark because they don’t trust you & you haven’t earned their trust. Or their owners don’t love them & so they can’t love anyone else. I think desire, lust and attraction can all be unconditional, even uncontrollable, but true love in a relationship I believe is based on respect. You love someone so you treat them with respect & in the same way you would wish to be treated in return. The problem with that is that we have varying degrees of self esteem. So if you don’t love yourself, then you won’t expect anyone else to love you any more than you do. For this reason we should try to love ourselves before we wonder why we aren’t in love.
- Beef doesn’t pay the rent – You should always be motivated by love, even when love is not present. If someone treats you wrong in business. If someone cheats on you. If someone decides to project their own insecurities onto you in a heated, intoxicated moment, it should not affect the way you see the world. If you let them infect you with their behaviour it will deter you from the good things in your life. The loving thing to do in this event is to keep a distance. Have your boundaries in place & don’t expect others to change because you can’t control them. I’ve been on both ends of this & I understand it deeply. Hate does not ever bring a good thing your way. Better to defend yourself with a calm, firm attitude than to mirror their unwarranted behaviour.
- Life isn’t all about you – It’s easy to be all about yourself in this age. You can get lost in your mission to success, forgetting that those with all the luck generally aren’t rushing and panic’ing for their careers. Yes, hard work matters. Yes, focus matters. Yes, choosing yourself matters in the grand scheme of things. Behind every successful person there is a support network. Love is present in their lives. Sure, there are some outliers that spend all their time on their craft and claim to have no time for love or family, but the people who reach their full potential usually care for others. They have emotional intelligence. They take care of all aspects of their lives & know that life is not just about them. A lot of successful people’s motivation for success is to make their family’s life better than their own upbringing. Then after achieving that they can help others too. I’m not talking crazy levels of altruism, but a general awareness of ones ability to help people in need.
- Our innate nurturing ability is an important trait – As humans we reproduce like all other mammals. We don’t reproduce as rapidly in recent decades due to careerism & issues with the economy. A woman becomes less likely to reproduce healthy babies after the age of 35. Its a shame a lot of women are putting off reproducing in favour of a “career”. With statistics like “Half of all marriages end in divorce” and Hypergamy (a woman’s desire to upgrade to the most high value male she can get) being very common amongst women, a lot of men are not committing to full time relationships. Regardless of these sobering facts it is still in our nature to pair bond & to raise children. I believe when being motivated by love, we make ourselves prepared to raise children, as scary as it may seem. I’m 33, I have a 5 year old daughter. My ex cheated on me when things got tough, so I left her & yet I still believe love exists. I see love every time I look into my daughter’s eyes.
- The meaning of life – This is a topic often controversial amongst philosophers. What is the “Meaning of Life” to you? Our very exclusive ability as humans to be self-conscious means that we can create our own purpose. Why do we continue to get up in the morning? Look at all the good that has happened in the world. Has it come from hate & envy? Or has it come from love? In the words of Viktor Frankl in his legendary book Man’s Search For Meaning. “For the first time in my life I saw the truth as it is set into song by so many poets, proclaimed as the final wisdom by so many thinkers. The truth – that Love is the ultimate and highest goal to which man can aspire. Then I grasped the meaning of the greatest secret that human poetry and human thought and belief have to impart: The salvation of man is through love and in love.”
Having a true bond built on love with your partner, family and friends can keeps us in check. A world without love can make us turn cold, distant & lost. Making decisions based on envy and hate are the quickest way to an early grave. Decisions based on love and empathy are our best bet to living a happy life.
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